Who's Southern?

Lately I've been getting a lot of "Where are you from?" questions. I'm not really sure why. Maybe the blog gods want to give me something to write about.  I usually pause when I'm asked where I'm from, like I have to think about it. It's a difficult question for me, because technically, I am from New York state. I grew up in a small town in what is called "upstate New York", about three hours from the city (and nowhere near Rochester or Buffalo, because apparently those are the only two cities people know of in New York outside of NYC).


When I was 18 I left New York to attend the University of Georgia. During the first year, I really struggled. I hated the culture. I didn't feel like I fit in with the people around me, people who were mostly from suburbs of Atlanta. I had pretty negative first impressions of my new location. First off, I had never heard of a subdivision before. All we had were houses on a regular street, that all looked different. The idea that someone had a lakehouse was completely foreign to me. People came from huge schools where they had been on different 'tracks' (like honors) and entered college with a full semester of credits under their belt. Huh? We had one school in our town that offered two AP courses and everyone was on the same 'track'!  Why did racial groups seem so separated and have their own subcultures? Why was interracial marriage taboo? And what was Chic-fil-A and why was everyone SO shocked to hear that I had never eaten there? Speaking of food, where were all the corner Italian places? Why were there a million boring Mexican joints instead? Why did all the guys wear tucked-in polo shirts, short shorts, and boat shoes? Why did all the women look like models, have long, shiny blond hair, and always have their nails done? What was Cotillion? Why was everyone in a sorority and what the heck was this crazy rush thing? Why did people prefer watching football over basketball? It was so boring! Oh, and I had never seen so many churches in my life! There was one on every corner. And what was a campus ministry or youth group? I never heard of these. The food was different, the dress was different, the language was different, the attitudes were different (note: some of these cultural differences were also from going small town to 'bigger town').


I felt like I was in culture shock. I talked about transferring- maybe to Virginia (like it would be much less southern or something, ha). But a funny thing happened the following year. I found a group of friends I fit in with. I started to enjoy living in Georgia. I started to accept, then LIKE, the culture. Fast forward ten years later, and I can't imagine living anywhere else. I love the South. Sure, I definitely don't love everything about it and some things still drive me crazy. Sure, there are a few things I miss about living in New York (ok not that many). But I consider myself southern. Not a born and raised Southern Belle, mind you, but someone who loves and belongs in the South.

My parents retired to north Florida several years after I left New York. So apart from a few family members, most of our family has somehow migrated to the Florida-Georgia area. Therefore, when people ask me the question "Where are you from?" part of me wants to say Georgia, part of me wants to say New York, and then part of me thinks that when I go "home" (or to my parents') it's in Florida.


My identify crisis has sparked my thinking about the ways that I consider myself Southern and the ways I consider myself Northern. I had some fun with this, and maybe even got some of my identify figured out!


(Forgive me for my stereotypes)

Ways I consider myself Northern (and/or small town):

I don't wear dresses to football games.
I cannot stand the humidity. Or bugs.
Cockroaches are EVIL and FREAK ME OUT!
I don't own anything Polo.
I use terms like soda and sneakers instead of soft drink and tennis shoes.
I can't stomach collard greens or grits.
I love the North's long, crisp fall season with pants and light jackets.
All Christmases are meant to be white.
I'm always in a hurry.
I don't dress my girls in smocks or monogrammed clothes, except for rare occasions. It's not really my style.
I love authentic takeout Italian, I just can't find any (Olive Garden does not count).
On that note, I do not like Monterrey's, Mexicali, Vallerta's, Salsa's, or any of the million-and-a-half Tex-Mex restaurants.
Interracial marriage isn't taboo to me. Two of my best friends (a friend from college and an older couple) are in interracial marriages.
My social and table manners are not that great (maybe I should go to adult cotillion?!)
I don't own a gun and never want to. On that note, I don't hunt and never want to.
I tried out a social sorority and hated it. Big time. Ditto for rush.
I'm anti-death penalty and still can't believe we execute people instead of letting God be the final judge.



Ways I consider myself Southern (and/or 'bigger town'):

Sweet tea is the drink of choice. Unsweetened tea is gross.
I cannot stand the cold weather.
I plan on teaching my daughters good 'ol fashioned social and table manners (once I learn them myself ;) . It's good for them.
The only way to refer to a group of people is ya'll.
I love almost all southern food (see above exceptions).
I smile at people I walk by.
I have conversations with the bus driver, the cashier, the waitress- everyone! One of my favorite things about the South is that people are so warm and friendly.
I live in a subdivision, albeit a very small one.
Church is one of the biggest parts of my life.
I believe Chic-fil-A is God's gift to fast food.
Football season is by far the best sports season of the year.
I believe in less government, fewer entitlements, and more states' rights.
Admittedly, I have a (slight) Southern accent.



All that said, I love living in the South and wouldn't have it any other way. Ideally, I would like to live a little further north where the weather was more mild and there were more mountains, like North Carolina. I don't know if that will actually ever happen, but if it doesn't, I'd be happy staying here in Georgia.  I like it here. I love my born-and-raised southern friends, even if we are a little different.

I'm a Northerner-turned-Southerner.

And I kind of like having one foot in both worlds.