Lessons for my daughter (and myself)

Some important life lessons and wisdom that I have accumulated through the years.....

There will always be someting troubling happening in life. Learn to be content and to trust God rather than wishing away the current storm. There will almost always be a trial in your life at any given time. Expect them; don't feel disappointed or let down when they come. Be ready. Prepared.

People are often cruel for the same reasons: someone is cruel to them, no one taught them and they don't know any better. Repay them with kindness. They need it more than you do.

People are often not what they seem on the outside. Never assume.

Never make a joke at someone else's expense. It's cheap and easy humor. Stay away from sarcasm for the same reasons.

Do not believe things simply because they have been widely accepted. Seek the truth for yourself, particularly when it comes to God.

Being kind to others will take you much farther in life than two legs ever could.

God will always reveal himself to those who honestly seek him.

Everyone has a story and everyone is hurting in there own way. No person is evil. Satan is evil and he lurks everywhere. He uses hurt and brokenness to bring about evil. Try to see the broken people behind evil actions.

People are not 'bad' or 'good,' nor are children 'bad' or 'good.' People do bad things, and people do good things. They have the choice to change from one pattern to the next at any time.

In the same breath, be careful about labels. You never know the impact you may have on someone's future and destiny by putting a label on them.

Lack of loving (or liking) someone is often from a lack of truly knowing them. Invest in knowing them more deeply, and you will find that as you understand them, you just may become endeared to them.

People do not want pity when they are suffering. They don't want cliché responses that make you feel better. They want you to be there, to express your sorrow, and to stand by them through the pain, even though it's not fun.

In the same breath, you will always be ok.

Courage is not about being unafraid, it's about choosing to do what's right despite your fear.

Never be a part of someone picking on someone else. Standing by and watching it happen is just as bad.

Never become so comfortable that you fail to see the things in you that need to change; yet don't live your life trying to attain some sort of selfish perfection.

Always be on the lookout for ways you can be kind to someone.

Look for people that are alone and looked over by others. Make a conscious effort to reach out to them as Jesus would.

Work hard at everything you do and give your best effort, not just the things that others tell you are "worthwhile."

Don't love money. It will not bring you happiness. Remember you cannot serve two Gods. Have an open hand with all material things, and remember that it all comes from God and ultimately belongs to him.

Don't live your life wishing for the future and in the process miss out on the beautiful in the now.

Who's Southern?

Lately I've been getting a lot of "Where are you from?" questions. I'm not really sure why. Maybe the blog gods want to give me something to write about.  I usually pause when I'm asked where I'm from, like I have to think about it. It's a difficult question for me, because technically, I am from New York state. I grew up in a small town in what is called "upstate New York", about three hours from the city (and nowhere near Rochester or Buffalo, because apparently those are the only two cities people know of in New York outside of NYC).


When I was 18 I left New York to attend the University of Georgia. During the first year, I really struggled. I hated the culture. I didn't feel like I fit in with the people around me, people who were mostly from suburbs of Atlanta. I had pretty negative first impressions of my new location. First off, I had never heard of a subdivision before. All we had were houses on a regular street, that all looked different. The idea that someone had a lakehouse was completely foreign to me. People came from huge schools where they had been on different 'tracks' (like honors) and entered college with a full semester of credits under their belt. Huh? We had one school in our town that offered two AP courses and everyone was on the same 'track'!  Why did racial groups seem so separated and have their own subcultures? Why was interracial marriage taboo? And what was Chic-fil-A and why was everyone SO shocked to hear that I had never eaten there? Speaking of food, where were all the corner Italian places? Why were there a million boring Mexican joints instead? Why did all the guys wear tucked-in polo shirts, short shorts, and boat shoes? Why did all the women look like models, have long, shiny blond hair, and always have their nails done? What was Cotillion? Why was everyone in a sorority and what the heck was this crazy rush thing? Why did people prefer watching football over basketball? It was so boring! Oh, and I had never seen so many churches in my life! There was one on every corner. And what was a campus ministry or youth group? I never heard of these. The food was different, the dress was different, the language was different, the attitudes were different (note: some of these cultural differences were also from going small town to 'bigger town').


I felt like I was in culture shock. I talked about transferring- maybe to Virginia (like it would be much less southern or something, ha). But a funny thing happened the following year. I found a group of friends I fit in with. I started to enjoy living in Georgia. I started to accept, then LIKE, the culture. Fast forward ten years later, and I can't imagine living anywhere else. I love the South. Sure, I definitely don't love everything about it and some things still drive me crazy. Sure, there are a few things I miss about living in New York (ok not that many). But I consider myself southern. Not a born and raised Southern Belle, mind you, but someone who loves and belongs in the South.

My parents retired to north Florida several years after I left New York. So apart from a few family members, most of our family has somehow migrated to the Florida-Georgia area. Therefore, when people ask me the question "Where are you from?" part of me wants to say Georgia, part of me wants to say New York, and then part of me thinks that when I go "home" (or to my parents') it's in Florida.


My identify crisis has sparked my thinking about the ways that I consider myself Southern and the ways I consider myself Northern. I had some fun with this, and maybe even got some of my identify figured out!


(Forgive me for my stereotypes)

Ways I consider myself Northern (and/or small town):

I don't wear dresses to football games.
I cannot stand the humidity. Or bugs.
Cockroaches are EVIL and FREAK ME OUT!
I don't own anything Polo.
I use terms like soda and sneakers instead of soft drink and tennis shoes.
I can't stomach collard greens or grits.
I love the North's long, crisp fall season with pants and light jackets.
All Christmases are meant to be white.
I'm always in a hurry.
I don't dress my girls in smocks or monogrammed clothes, except for rare occasions. It's not really my style.
I love authentic takeout Italian, I just can't find any (Olive Garden does not count).
On that note, I do not like Monterrey's, Mexicali, Vallerta's, Salsa's, or any of the million-and-a-half Tex-Mex restaurants.
Interracial marriage isn't taboo to me. Two of my best friends (a friend from college and an older couple) are in interracial marriages.
My social and table manners are not that great (maybe I should go to adult cotillion?!)
I don't own a gun and never want to. On that note, I don't hunt and never want to.
I tried out a social sorority and hated it. Big time. Ditto for rush.
I'm anti-death penalty and still can't believe we execute people instead of letting God be the final judge.



Ways I consider myself Southern (and/or 'bigger town'):

Sweet tea is the drink of choice. Unsweetened tea is gross.
I cannot stand the cold weather.
I plan on teaching my daughters good 'ol fashioned social and table manners (once I learn them myself ;) . It's good for them.
The only way to refer to a group of people is ya'll.
I love almost all southern food (see above exceptions).
I smile at people I walk by.
I have conversations with the bus driver, the cashier, the waitress- everyone! One of my favorite things about the South is that people are so warm and friendly.
I live in a subdivision, albeit a very small one.
Church is one of the biggest parts of my life.
I believe Chic-fil-A is God's gift to fast food.
Football season is by far the best sports season of the year.
I believe in less government, fewer entitlements, and more states' rights.
Admittedly, I have a (slight) Southern accent.



All that said, I love living in the South and wouldn't have it any other way. Ideally, I would like to live a little further north where the weather was more mild and there were more mountains, like North Carolina. I don't know if that will actually ever happen, but if it doesn't, I'd be happy staying here in Georgia.  I like it here. I love my born-and-raised southern friends, even if we are a little different.

I'm a Northerner-turned-Southerner.

And I kind of like having one foot in both worlds.

What's Inspiring You?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bubonic Plague

If you're wondering why I've been MIA (a whole MONTH without a post- sheesh! That's a new low for me)... it's because I practically crawled from the dark recesses of my new home, the bathroom,  to write this post. Our family has been experiencing a local outbreak of viral gastroenteritis ("the stomach bug"). This has been no ordinary stomach bug, mind you. First it hit me and I was vomiting more than I've ever in my life. My WHOLE life. If I reflect on all the times I've tossed my cookies over the years, this surpasses them all. Worse than the time my whole family survived food poisoning at Disney World. Worse than any of my migraines that landed me in the ER from dehydration after heaving from intense pain. Worse than after eating street food in Peru that my then-fiance Ben tempted me to eat (while he abstained - still bitter).

I threw up every hour for, oh, TWELVE hours. And it was no easy vomiting, let me tell you. It was full-on upheaval at its worst. It chewed me up and spat me out. I have a chain smoker's voice to prove it and can sing tenor for the first and hopefully last time of my life, which kind of freaks my husband out.

I have my toddler to thank for sharing the gift of gastritis. Anna's still battling the symptoms after five days. She's been vegging in front of the television to Cow Tunes for three days now, methodically, filling in the cracks between the couch cushions with cheerios. After realizing I have been humming/singing/rasping along to Cowabunga all day long, and can't close my eyes without picturing a cow getting a suntan in Aruba, I dare to turn off the TV and suffer the demand of "Cow, cow, cow, COW!!" coming from my firstborn. Normally I am stoic to her demands, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up as a loss and give in to the couch potato you just created in a matter of 72 hours.

Tonight she came to me begging, "Night Night, NIGHT NIGHT" at 5:30. I think that's a new record. So I changed my daughter into her pajamas, and was reminded how she has regressed from 18 month to 6 month clothing. Another pound lost, and I might be able to wrap my hand around her waist.

If we have any peaking Tom neighbors, which incidentally I've heard that we do (another story for another day), they might think they've come across a macabre set of the latest Zombie movie. In fact, I think I've just had an "ah-ha" moment. If I ever made a Zombie movie, I would select my entire cast from the waiting rooms of urgent care centers and hospital ERs.

Not only did every person in our family get the bug (including Baby, though she had it the easiest, go figure), but we wiped out our two helpers as well. Poor Jacky spent only a few hours with us and hours later she was damaged goods. My mother-in-law came to relieve her, and eight hours later she was camped out on the bathroom floor.  Meanwhile, Ben goes off for another weekend call day at the hospital (leaving You-Know-Who to juggle dirty diapers, crying kids, and frantic dashes to the toilet...I digress) and manages to give every person at the nurses' station on 7 North South a crick in their neck as they turn to the sound of Niagara Falls.

 I think this qualifies as Bubonic Plague level sickness.

In other words, forgive me for my absence from the blog world...as I make a mad dash back to my favorite haunt.

Musings

Anna slept in until 8:30 this morning. Never. Before. Bliss.

I just received my cloth diaper inserts back from the company. I missed them. Apparently they had so much built-up gunk that they were not absorbing, which I can't wrap my mind around because I used a safe detergent and did all the proper washing / use instructions. If anyone has insight into this please do tell. I would like to avoid it for the future.

My computer weather forecast said it was 25 degrees this morning. It appears winter in Georgia has finally arrived- about two months late. I can't complain.

Been reading a lot of new pregnancy announcements on blogs lately. They make my heart happy.

Ben is working 12 full days straight with no break for the second time this month while at the ICU. And no, he doesn't get any extra days off to compensate. Twelve days without a break for him means twelve days without a break for me. Not a fan. Not a fan at all. Only another two-and-a-half weeks before his month of research.

I absolutely love my Tuesday "playdate" with the wife of one of Ben's classmates. Finally a consistent meet up for us. Love it.

One of my favorite things is getting baby clothes finds in the mail from my Mom in Florida. It's like a birthday present all year round. She loves it, too.

It's always the shows I make fun of that I end up loving. When I first saw a commercial for The Voice, I scowled with disdain at the perceived cheesiness. Now it's my favorite (ok only) show that I'm watching by our digital antennae. Loved that Adele cover at the end. Wow. If only I had a voice like that.

Anna went from a period of not wanting to be held much to being ultra-clingy. She follows me around everywhere I go, be it the bathroom or laundry room for a nanosecond. Her little head will bob around the door quicker than lightning. So cute.

The Kindle is probably the best invention of our century. Best Christmas gift ever. I wish I could take a book at a slow pace instead of like a student with a term paper due the next day. Why am I that way? I have to limit my book reading periods for this very reason. Just finished "Behind the Veils of Yemen" because we support a missionary in the country and I wanted to read more about life there. Many similarities to India. Am now reading an Andrew Murray book and The Secret Garden. Classics.

I am so not ready for a toddler. Help!

By definition, most of these are probably not even musings.

The Sweetness has arised, I must go. My favorite part of the day- greeting her gigantic smiles and giggles and picking her up out of her crib *heart melts*.

Words to Live By

I owe this post to my beloved Pinterest.

My inspiration as of late...

What's inspiring you?

Letters

Dear Library, I'm so glad we became reunited. You make my cable free living oh so much better. I spend less time on the computer and more time in my comfy leather chair. I feel like there's this whole big world out there I have been neglecting.

Hair, I liked when you stayed on my head while I was pregnant. It was so nice. Now I have to deal with your long black strands everywhere. And well, it's not fun. Nor pretty. There are rare moments when I wish my hair were blond, but cleaning the bathroom is one of them.

Anna, why must you constantly elude your parents when you roll from your back to your tummy? We know you do it.

Pinterest, how I love thee.

Pandora, thank you for making my new "Disney" channel fabulous. I seem to like it more than Anna (and more than all my other channels). Now I don't have to buy a bunch of kiddo CDs. Thanks for that. Oh, and for being free.

Dear Constipation, please stop torturing my daughter (and me in the process). Thanks.

Cavalier, I wonder how you are doing in the junkyard these days? I bet it is pretty lonely. I miss having you around. I'm disappointed you couldn't hold out one more year until Ben graduated....but I guess it's okay since it's too hot to really leave the apartment anyway. However, someday I'm sure I will want to go somewhere. Anna gets pretty bored around here. So please send a replacement soon. Thanks.

Milk, please feel free to leave anytime. I don't really have a need for you anymore, and no offense but you are kind of painful. Oh and when you return, try to slow down and be a little more manageable for your customer. Then hopefully you can stick around.

Dear school, you have held my husband ransom long enough. In one week, he will have regained a portion of his freedom. Rotations, please be kind to him.

Kroger, thank you for having so many good vegetable sales lately. You are starting to make up for that expired turkey you sold me a month ago that made me sick.

Dear Neighbor, I'm sorry that you like to argue with your wife girlfriends. But please refrain from yelling while baby is sleeping. Thanks.