Disney

I know I haven't posted in a while and I'm going to try and get better about that. As cliche as it sounds, things have been so busy and I'm working much more than I was last year. I love it, but it makes it hard to find time for other things. 

Several weeks ago, we went to visit my parents in Florida and they took us to a Disney resort for three days. We spent one day at Magic Kingdom and the rest hanging out at the pool and other fun things to do. The girls had such a great time. The princesses were of course the biggest hit of the day! We of course brought all of our princess dresses and dolls and stuffed them in a bag in preparation to meet them. And as expected, Disney was the BEST place for food allergies. If you have a child with allergies, you can take them to Disney and actually eat at the restaurants.

In flight

Showing off her Magic Band!

Fun at the Wilderness Lodge. Swimming in January, who would've thought?

Bus to Magic Kingdom

Dreams come true

But Mom, how are we going to see where she lives without going underwater? (four year old brain's wheel turning)

The Best Vegan Chocolate Cake Ever

Literally. That's what the name of this recipe is. I've tried many vegan baking recipes, and most are a poor counterpart to their egg and dairy version. Once I found this beautiful recipe, I knew it would be our staple birthday cake recipe. The best part is that it's super easy. It doesn't require any beating, and it uses only common ingredients.


Cake:
1 1/4 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened coca powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup warm water
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp distilled white vinegar


Chocolate Glaze:
1/2 cup sugar
4 tsp dairy-free margarine
2 T soy milk
2 T unsweetened coca powder
2 tsp vanilla


Cake:
Preheat oven to 350. Mix together flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt with a fork, making sure it is really well blended.


Mix together water, vanilla, oil, and vinegar, really well blended and then add to dry ingredients.


Pour into baking pan or sheet (8x8) and bake for ~30 minutes. Cool completely. Makes one small cake, good for a family of 4-5 (double if you want a regular size cake). We like to use a bundt pan because it's pretty.
For cupcakes, bake for ~20 minutes. Makes 1 dozen.


Chocolate Glaze:
Mix ingredients together well and pour over cake.

Happy 31st Birthday to me!

Our Allergy Toolbox

I want to give an update on Anna's allergies and tips we've discovered for allergy management. I know this post may not be relevant to many people, but I am passionate about education and believe that everyone can benefit from this information, so please take the time to read! If you haven't read this blog before, check out this post first, where I outline some of the day-to-day struggles of living with food allergies.

We are going on three years since discovering Anna's life-threatening milk allergy, followed by several other serious allergies. It has taken a lot of time and effort to learn how to best manage them and we are continuing to learn along the way. A month or so ago we had a close call when Anna was accidentally given the wrong milk. Immediately she came to us, heaving. I thought she had gotten some sort of stomach bug until Ben realized what had happened. We immediately administered two Epi-pens (the first one was not administered correctly) and praise God, she was okay. It was a scary, scary incident and reminded us of how vigilant and prepared we have to be at all times. It also taught us some things since this was our first experience with Epi-pens (we have been able to avoid contact with milk until this incident). This is what we learned:

1. It is not always easy to recognize an allergic reaction. I had no idea what was going on until Ben put two and two together. Hacking, heaving, and coughing are signs of an anaphylactic reaction. It is scary because many people (even me) have a hard time recognizing these signs.

2. Giving an Epi pen is not fool proof. You have to hold the pen in for ten seconds in order for the medication to administer. Initially Ben popped it into her leg and then once it retracted he pulled it out. It was only when I questioned whether he held it long enough that we realized the medication had not gone in. If would have been difficult for the average person to know that this had happened. You ALWAYS have to hold the pen into the thigh for ten seconds.

3. Always, always take your child to the emergency room when they have received an Epi-pen. I did not know this and once Anna seemed to be ok, we went about our day as usual (even going to swim lessons that day, which was a big no-no). Rebound reactions can occur 30 minutes to hours later and a trip to the ER is a must, such is contacting your allergist.



Now, on to the tips to make management easier!

1. We created a medication 'kit' that we take everywhere. It is easy to throw in Anna's bag (we almost never forget it now). I purchased a zipper pouch and attached a luggage tag that reads "Anna's Medicine". It's important to make things easy to read for caregivers in case of an emergency. Inside the case are two Epi-pens, an inhaler, Benadryl, and succinct instructions for her care in the case of a reaction. If you get a cosmetic case with a key ring on it, you can hang it on a key rack with your car keys so you remember to take it with you.

(inhaler not pictured)

2. Instead of packing liquid Benadryl and separate dispensers, you can find individual child-size tablets at Walgreens. These are much easier to pack and use.

3. AllerMates make special stickers and jewelry that alert caregivers to a child's food allergy in a fun way. We have their stickers that we use when Anna is going to be in a large group setting, and we put one on her lunch box.

4. Good cookbooks are a must. We've found the most success with the What's to Eat? series because it hits all of Anna's allergies, the ingredient lists are not lengthy and obscure as in most cookbooks, and the recipes are short and easy. The reality is that vegan baked goods do not taste the same as their dairy counterparts, but it's nice to have some options.

5. In terms of food, we have found that Kroger is the best grocery chain when it comes to carrying alternative foods (other than pricier options like Whole Foods and Earth Fare). You must look in their Natural Foods section. They carry most of the things we need- vegan mayonnaise, dairy-free cheese, yogurt, ice cream, Almond milk, dairy-free crackers, cookies and chocolate, etc. The Enjoy Life brand are always free of the 8 common allergens. Annie's makes some good products, as well.

6. Allergy-free and alternative foods cost, on average, three times as much as their counterparts. This is a regular challenge for us. A meal plan is very helpful. Fooducate is also a great app to help with selecting food. A past post on these things here.

7. Homemade isn't always easier, but it's often safer.

8. In terms of lotions and creams for eczema caused by mild food allergies, it is very important to stay on top of the skin. We've had the most success with the following regime:

-Limiting baths and only using lukewarm water.
-Applying Eucerin lotion to the body directly after a bath when the skin is still moist.
-Applying Eucerin EVERY night to the entire body to keep the skin from getting dry.
-Using a steroid cream (Locoid lotion is very effective for us) as soon as problem spots pop up to avoid an all-out flare up.
-Avoiding all other lotions and creams and scented products like bubble bath.
-Using All Free and Clear detergent and no dryer sheets or fabric softener.
-Wearing 100% cotton clothing when possible, especially for bedtime and in hot weather.
-Giving Benadryl or another effective anti-histamine if itching becomes a problem.

9. These are more asthma related but eczema and asthma often come hand-in-hand: keep ceiling fans dusted, wash bedding frequently in hot water, avoid stuffed animals and other dust collectors in bedroom, and use an allergen mattress protector.


I hope this helps some people out there struggling with food allergies! If you want to read all of my posts on food allergies, click on "food allergies" under the "Topics" section on the right of this blog.

Meal planning take two plus an awesome app

A few years ago I wrote about our method for meal planning. It was a good enough method but still involved picking out which meals to make each week and compiling a grocery list. With our family’s allergies I was having a hard time meal planning each week; it was something I looked forward to as much as the Sunday before a miserable workday.

 

I decided that the only way I could make cooking the slightest bit pleasant was to eliminate the planning part. So I slowly compiled a six week meal plan. Basically I have different meals planned for six weeks straight along with their coordinating grocery lists. As I find new recipes that I like I plan on expanding it even further so that I have up to eight weeks of meals, almost all different from each other (I get bored easily).

 

I go shopping with the girls once a week on Friday mornings. First we go to Aldi to get whatever they have in stock that we need (love that place- can’t beat a 3.19 gallon of hormone-free milk) and then get everything else at Kroger before heading home.

 

I have a spreadsheet on my computer and fridge with each day of the week’s meals. I also have a document on my computer with each week’s grocery list. That way, I don’t have to make one each week. I print it out and add any staples on the bottom. NO BRAINER. NO THINKING. All I have to do is check the fridge to see what is for dinner and I have everything right there in my fridge. Only shop once a week. Not bad. It is also nice because if you have a regular scheduled weekly event or work schedule, you can make your meal plan with that in mind.

 

In my typical OCD fashion, I went a step further and color-coordinated my grocery lists. Every Monday is ‘green’ and every Tuesday ‘red’, etc. on my spreadsheet. The ingredients for that meal are then listed in the same color on the grocery list. It makes for a colorful grocery list, but it has a major purpose. If we have something out of the ordinary planned one night like a dinner out or guests coming, I don’t have to go through the list and figure out what ingredients to cross out. I cross out all the ‘green’ ingredients or all the ‘red’ ingredients. Easy peasy. And yes, slightly OCD. Embrace it.

 

There are a few tricks to making it work. If you really want to shop only once a week, you must make sure all your fresh produce and meat is used towards the beginning of the week while your frozen veggies and meals that don’t spoil as quickly are used towards the end of the week. It’s not easy; sometimes a thing or too will go bad. Make sure you check the expiration dates when you buy. If this doesn’t work for you, you can also make a second run to the store mid-week to get more produce and meat.

 

As for repeats, we only have a few on there. These are inexpensive meals that we like (spaghetti and nachos are eaten every 3 weeks or so). As for new meals, I don’t particularly like to try new recipes but I think it’s good to do now and then, so one meal every six weeks is listed as “New Recipe”.  Like I said, as I find more recipes that we enjoy we will continue to expand the meals beyond six weeks.

 

There are some meal planning websites that do this kind of thing for you. However, they don’t work with allergies. Secondly, I don’t like all the meals on their list (not a fish eater though I do try to give the girls canned salmon every week for that DHA stuff ;).  They also cost a little bit of money. Either way, they don’t work for us. This takes some legwork up front but it works super well for our family. As you can see below we try to eat inexpensive meals; lots of beans, vegetables, and light on the meat when possible.

 

Here is our current 6-week meal plan. It is constantly changing as our preferences change or as we find new foods we like. Since I go shopping at Friday, the meal plan starts on Saturday because that is the day of the week where I need to use the freshest foods. You would start your meal plan on whatever night (or following night) you go shopping. I plan the grilled foods for the weekend when I know Ben will have time to grill. The fish sticks and CN (chicken nuggets) and other alternate meals for Anna are because she can’t eat what we have that night. Apart from our church’s small group which eats a weekly dinner at our home, we eat meals that Anna can eat except on Fridays. Fridays are when Ben and I eat our favorite food and give Anna something different.

 

Here is an example of a grocery list. This is week one’s grocery list. Each color is coordinated with the spreadsheet. I have them listed in the order you would find in Kroger (deli, produce, processed foods, meat, dairy, frozen foods, natural/health foods). I have a “circle if needed” on the bottom to make sure I don’t run out of our staples I need that week.
 

 

 

There you have it. Yes it takes a lot of legwork up front. But delayed gratification is definitely worth it when you never have to meal plan again!

Lastly, check out the amazing app called Fooducate. If you want to eat healthy but have no interest in finding out exactly what ingredients are bad for you (besides the obvious) then get this app. You scan the food’s barcode and it immediately labels the with a score of A through F. What could be easier? If the food isn’t up to your standards, it even gives you alternative brands that scored the highest. This app has seriously changed the way we eat. I don’t have to time to figure out what foods to buy on my own, but I do have time to scan a barcode and see its score. We try to avoid artificial flavors and colors, hydrogenated oils, unhealthy oils and tons of added sugar. Of course our budget doesn’t always allow for that but we do the best we can.

 

Fooducate automatically determines whether your food has a lot of sugar in it for its type of product. It isn’t always easy to tell on your own because lots of foods have natural sugar that is reflected in the sugar content. If you have nutrition or diet goals, you can include them in your food-searching, as well.

 

If you purchase the Plus app for $10 (lifetime subscription), it will also tell you if the food is GMO. Awesome feature. They have an allergy Plus app as well, but I’m so used to checking for allergens that I don’t need an app to do it for me. I probably wouldn’t trust it anyway!

 

Happy eating!

(I posted twice today so check below to see Anna's new leg!)

Easy. homemade.

When we first found out about Anna's garlic allergy I was pretty horrified. I knew that I would have to start making a lot of basic foods from scratch. From sauces to condiments to spice mixes to broths, very few convenience foods or shortcuts are garlic-free.

I hate to cook.

I became accustomed to creating many foods from scratch out of necessity. Italian seasoning, spaghetti sauce, chicken broth, salad dressing, and hummus. Convenience foods like frozen fish sticks and chicken nuggets. Even foods you wouldn't usually think of having garlic in them, like refried beans, I had to make from the bottom up. Other foods I had to work without because there wasn't a good homemade option that would work for us (ketchup, BBQ sauce, Worcestershire sauce, to name a few).

Now that she is a little older, Anna has been able to handle small amounts of garlic in her diet as her winter clothing protects her skin from breaking out and turning into sores. I thought I would be really excited to go out and buy all these foods I've been missing out on, and I was ... but then I wasn't. I found that many of the alternatives were quite unhealthy and bland. I decided it was just as easy to continue to make some of them from scratch. Here are some of the yummy ones I keep going back to. These are the foods whose alternative store-bought versions are often loaded with extra sugar and hydrogenated oil and are significantly more expensive. These are super easy and quick even for someone to hates to cook.

Here are some of my favorites:

Salad Dressing: I can't believe I've spent so much time buying unhealthy bottles full of junk when the simple, homemade stuff is so much better. I discovered from a friend that half and half oil and balsamic vinegar was as good (and a whole lot healthier) than the salad dressings I was using. I purchased a handy salad dressing pourer that has measurements on the outside and allows you to shake and pour it (see product here. You can get a small version at Bed Bath and Beyond for $7 with a coupon).

Spaghetti sauce: Make your own without sugar and a whole lot cheaper. I make a huge batch and freeze them in individual containers. I use 3 28oz cans of plain crushed tomatoes. Mix in some olive oil and lots of spices: 2T each of oregano, basil, parsley, and some thyme and salt and pepper. Try mixing in shredded carrots, grated zucchini, or the crumbled tips of broccoli to give it an extra nutritional oomph.

Chicken broth: Cooking a whole chicken in the crockpot and simmering, saving, and freezing the broth is a much healthier, sodium-conscious alternative to cans of (expensive) chicken broth. Oh, and it tastes soo much better. You can especially notice a difference in soups.

Hummus: this is so easy to make. You only need four ingredients: chickpeas (1 can), tahini paste (1.5 T), lemon juice (3T) and olive oil (2T). The trick is to run all the ingredients except the chickpeas through the food processor until smooth, and then process in the chickpeas. No garlic, additives, and no spending $4 on a container of hummus. You can add anything you want to it- roasted red peppers, garlic (if that floats your boat), spices, etc.

Refried beans: We eat a lot of beans but the only kind Anna isn't allergic to are pinto and kidney beans. Refried beans always contain garlic in them, so we had to make our own. We puree a can of pinto beans with a little bit of water until smooth. Easy and yummy. Great texture. Once I saw how unhealthy true refried beans at the store were, I was willing to take that extra step to make my own. They are great for making nachos, quesadillas, or burritos. We usually opt for beans over beef for our protein in Mexican food.


Chicken nuggets and fish sticks: It's a bit more work than the above foods, but you cut into strips or chunks your tilapia or chicken, roll them in mayonnaise with a little bit of lemon juice, and then roll them in breadcrumbs. Cook in the oven at 400 until crispy, let cool, and divide into freezer bags. I put one kids size meal in one sandwich bag and then load those all up into big freezer bags. I take out one serving size and pop them into the toaster oven for 10 minutes to warm up.

Pass the Peanuts?

This week is Food Allergy Awareness Week!

In true awareness fashion, Anna was diagnosed with new allergies this week including tomato, onion, celery, green peas, cilantro, and coriander. Excuse me while I go stick my head in a bucket of water. That brings the list to 13.


Five "pieces of awareness" about food allergies:

-A recent study published in Pediatrics reported that over 30% of children with food allergies say they have been bullied about their allergies.  Previous studies have also found that having a food allergy puts a child at risk for bullying.

-Kids with food allergies have some of the highest anxiety rates compared to other disorders, including diabetes.

-Adults in children's lives often model exclusion and pressure children in ways they are unaware, because they do not fully understand the severity of many food allergies. Kids learn to refuse food or bring their own, but are often treated poorly because of it. Kids are put in a very difficult social position, particularly when the sharing of food is such a part of our culture.

-Children have died in schools because administrators did not take their allergy seriously, and were not willing to have emergency medication on hand at the proper times and follow the correct protocol.

-There are many people with minimal food allergies or 'intolerances' who are not aware of best practices for food allergy management, and their casual approach to the risks involved is seen as socially acceptable for food allergy management as a whole. Folks with severe food allergies who have to follow unusual precautions are viewed as being rude or distrustful.



The last year I have struggled so much with the allergies- not just the food but the social implications for me, as a parent, and for my child. I wondered why I always experienced so much resistance. Other people just didn't seem to understand and I felt this tension in the air when I had to explain about her allergies or politely decline food. Instead of listing a bunch more facts, I thought the best way to raise 'awareness' would be to share some of my day-to-day experiences.

"Through the eyes of a Food Allergy Mom" I will call it.

Some of my day-to-day experiences:

• When I politely ask the deli lady at Kroger to clean the machine before she cuts Anna's turkey, she gets mad and is rude to me. When I ask to see the ingredients of certain meats I am treated as if I'm paranoid or lying. Sometimes workers will refuse to show me the ingredients. Several times I've been treated so poorly I had to choke back tears. Every grocery store visit I get a pit in my stomach when I head to the deli counter.

• My child breaks out in hives at a birthday party and I'm in the corner giving her Benadryl while she is itching her whole body... all from sitting in a high chair that wasn't wiped down. Yet if I were to wipe down the seat before I put her in it, it would look weird and a little rude, as if I thought they weren't clean enough. The easiest thing is to just stay home.

• When someone offers us food I have to politely decline because I don't know what's in it. Or someone wants to make dinner and asks me what Anna can and can't have. I have no way to answer them, because unless I make the food myself or take part in its preparation, I can't feed it to her. There is too much involved in avoiding 12 allergies, some of which are not even clearly labeled. Sometimes I am treated like a stick in the mud (Update: now that some of her allergies have gotten easier to identify, good friends are able to serve food that I know Anna can have!).

• I decide to be brave and take Anna to a social gathering, a cookout, something I would usually avoid. I decide to be more laid back and not hover over her. My child sees a snack cup and thinks it is hers. She pops a snack in her mouth, just as I see that it is something she is allergic to. I grab her and ram my finger into my mouth to take the food out. She starts screaming because she doesn't understand what happened. Everyone in the room looks at us, and I feel like crawling into a hole.

• Every time I drop my child off at the nursery at church I explain her allergies and her medicine, particularly because the workers are usually never the same. I always feel like the paranoid mom. In the back of my mind I am always wondering "Does this worker take this seriously? Will they really keep an eye on my child? Will something happen?"

• I find multiple foods in the grocery store that do not list all the ingredients (I'd say about 70% of packaged foods list unspecific spices on their labels). When I call the company to get more information they are usually extremely rude to me and will not give the information I request, stating "ingredient confidentiality".

• Every time we get invited to someone house or to a party, I weigh the costs and benefits of going. If I go, I have to bring separate food for Anna and possibly fight battles about why she can't have what everyone else is eating. She doesn't understand.

• We no longer accept invitations out to dinner. The last time we went, we brought food for Anna, but she ate it all within ten minutes. While they other kids were snacking on dinner rolls, Anna gets really upset because she can't have one. It was awful.

• When we go to the airport I have to pack all of her food with me, and the TSA workers demand to open it or that I leave half of it because I can't take it on the plane. Then she doesn't have anything to eat because I can't give her restaurant food.

• When the kids eat together at her 'school', Anna is put in a separate high chair. This is because all of the other kids share their food. Anna is separated from everyone. I want her to be included, but there is nothing I can do.

• When parents bring a treat to 'school', Anna can't have it. When the teachers try to be  helpful and say "so-and-so's mom wants to know what Anna can have" what can I say? I can't simply tell someone I don't know how to make food my child can eat. It's more complex than they realize.

• We go to story time at the library and they have a craft afterwards. The craft almost always involves food. Every child gets to make their 'caterpillar' or whatever, and then eat it. My child cannot. I have to keep her from eating it and keep her from being a part of the social inclusion of enjoying food together. Might as well stay home.

• We found a church we like, but the nursery isn't safe for Anna. There are only a few workers for a lot of kids, and snack crumbs are spread all over the floor where the younger kids walk and crawl, and Anna puts everything in her mouth. Ben and I take turns watching her in the foyer but we can never enjoy the service together. We decide we have to find another church. Thankfully it ended up being our old church where all of our friends are, so it's all good. 

• People invite us over for the weekend or to travel and go on trips. We usually decline because we would have to pack days worth of food for Anna. We're going on a trip to see my family this summer, and I am leaving Anna here. I would love to take her with us, but the logistics of providing her with safe meals will be too difficult. I hate that she has to miss out on that time.

• Most of the church events have free childcare so parents can go to meetings and participate in service projects. They usually serve pizza or something. We don't go to them, because sticking Anna in a room full of pizza and kids with pizza hands would probably result in her breaking out in hives from contact, and even if she managed to avoid that, what would she do while everyone else was eating? Might as well stay home.

• On a regular basis I feel anxious for my child's future. What will she do if she's on a sports team and everyone goes out after the game? How will she go to an overnight or a trip with a friend? Will she never go out to eat- the number one most common social activity? How will she go to summer camp? How will she eat at a dining hall in college? I feel sick just thinking about it.

It's not all terrible. My friends have often  brought me to tears the way they have been so accommodating and understanding and gone above and beyond so that Anna can be included, or so we could have a safe meal brought when the baby was born, for example- things that I used to take for granted.


I write this not to whine but to raise awareness of what it is like for moms of kids with food allergies, particularly difficult ones. If you have an encounter with a kid with food allergies, show compassion. Try not to make assumptions or judge their mom. Try not to view us as overprotective, overanxious, or distrustful. Don't get upset when schools ban certain foods- remember how easy it is to forego a few foods in your kids' lunch compared to the daily complications of kids with allergies. Try to imagine how you would feel if your child was excluded from so many social opportunities. How isolating it can be. Try to plan social events that center on activities other than food. Try to understand our plight and if you can, try to find a way to include our kids. That's what we really want more than anything.

Thoughts on the Best Nutrition

It's late and I'm sleep deprived, so please forgive my poor grammar and run-on sentences.

I've been re-visiting my experience with nursing Anna now that I have little Kimberly, and remembering some of the feelings and thoughts I have regarding that first four months.

You hear it many times before you give birth, at the hospital, and once you leave for home with your precious newborn. Breastmilk is the best form of nutrition. Only feed your baby breastmilk until they are six months of age. I totally get this. I agree with it. I'm supportive of the recent push for breastfeeding in our society. It's a good thing. But my experience with my first born has let me to believe that at times the pressure can be a little excessive.  While it's true that breastfeeding is the best way to feed your baby, I also think mothers shouldn't be shamed or treated like quitters for needing to go an alternate route. I wrote a little bit about my story in the past but here is a refresher:

Anna was miserable for the first three months of her life. She screamed for about 75% of the time she was awake, and the time she was asleep she writhed around in pain, waking up every hour or so. We considered all sorts of possibilities for her pain. I knew something was not right. But mostly people told us that it was normal baby gas pains, colic, etc. and that eventually it would go away. It was some of the hardest three months of my life. Nursing was a nightmare. Anna hated to nurse, and she pulled away and screamed consistently. I was trapped at home trying to feed her all day because she wouldn't eat. I kept at it, mostly because I felt like it was the only option and that switching to bottle-feeding was the cardinal sin. I tried all sorts of diets, remedies, etc. At one point I was only eating five foods. Five foods. I thought perhaps she could be allergic to dairy but everything I was told or read said that mothers are over sensitive about this and "it's most likely not an issue" was the common word on the street. I was usually encouraged to try and improve my nursing technique. "There is never a reason to need to stop breastfeeding" was the regular motto. So I did. I did everything advised to me. I talked with numerous people recommended to me. I tried a bazillion different techniques and tips. I contacted La Leche League. I had the lactation consultant on speed dial. Nothing helped. I was really stressed and baby girl was so unhappy.

I finally threw insecurity, advice, and society's expectations to the wind and switched Anna to soy formula at 3.5 months. Life became like a dream compared to what it had been. She was happy, healthier (sans a little constipation), and so were we. I only wish I'd done it sooner.


When we finally took Anna to the pediatric allergist months later it was discovered: She had milk protein allergy. She showed the highest sensitivity possible on the test. The allergist explained to me that milk protein remains in a mother's breast milk and is passed to the baby. It's not the same as having a baby who is 'sensitive' to dairy and gets a little fussy, but who can handle when the mother has a piece of cheese. Babies with milk protein allergy can't tolerate any bit of dairy in the mother's diet. And God knows I love dairy. So finally we knew- this is why Anna was so unhappy and in so much pain for the first three months of her life. It all made a lot of sense: her constant screaming, the mucousy bowel movements, her refusal to nurse and lack of weight gain. I wanted to cry for my little girl and her pain that I couldn't take away.

Why didn't I switch her to formula earlier? Why did I continue to breastfeed my daughter when she was so miserable? With the new baby here and another 'go' at nursing, I've done some soul searching about the issue and this is what I came up with:

Lack of knowledge- I didn't know she could have milk protein allergy and that it could bother her so much. Everything I was told is that most women who think their child has a problem with dairy are probably incorrect and to not stop breastfeeding.

Pressure (real or imagined)- the pressure from society that formula is from the devil and your child will not be as smart, attached to you, or overall fabulous if you don't breastfeed exclusively (not true).

Feelings of inferiority- I feared what other people would think if I fed my baby formula.
That I was lazy.
That I was a bad mom.
That I was selfish.
That I didn't care about what was best for my child.
All not true. Unfortunately the fear of others thinking I wasn't doing what was best for child actually kept me from doing what was best for her (and for me). Ironic.

So why am I writing about this now? Ben and I decided that with Kimberly, I would stop being ridiculous and do what was best for the family. If breastfeeding was causing everyone to be stressed and unhappy, than we wouldn't put the whole family through misery in the name of nursing. For now, breastfeeding is going okay (though like Anna, the baby has  a hard time with the touchy speed of my milk flow, which vaccilates between being unamanageably fast and painfully slow). I will do all I can to continue and encourage successful nursing. But if something goes majorly wrong, and we feel like the best choice is to stop- I'm listening to my motherly instincts. And I think all women should have the right to do so without being judged.

Rant over.

Yummy spaghetti sauce

I tried my hand at homemade pasta sauce this week since I couldn't find any store brands without garlic in them. I sort of combined two different recipes from friends, and it turned out sooo yummy. Anna and I were lapping it off the spoon on the stove while it cooked! It makes about 14 cups so plenty to freeze (you can half it as well). Delicious, easy, cheap, and healthy!

Marinara Sauce

8 T olive oil
4 28oz cans of crushed tomatoes in heavy puree (the plain stuff)
2 onions, diced or 2 tsp onion powder
2 tsp sea salt
2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp thyme
2 tsp parsley
2 tsp basil
2 T sugar (optional)
4 cloves of garlic (except for Anna :)

In a big pot heat the oil and lightly cook the garlic and onions for a minute or so (if you are using garlic :). Then basically just add all the other ingredients and simmer on low for 2 hours. I added a pound of cooked ground Italian sausage to this one, but I almost liked it better without it. Next time I am going to add 3-4 grated zuchini to get some more veggies in there (Anna won't eat chunks in sauce, lol).

Two Annas, Two Leggys, Too Cute

Are those not the cutest faces ever? Such a great time with these two peas in a pod.

Oh, and we figured out the food allergy monster. After the last reaction posted below, we had bloodwork run on a million and one different foods. The positives we didn't know about? Black beans, kiwi fruit, lentils, garbanzo beans, and.... GARLIC!

Yes, garlic. Only the most commonly used spice in America after salt.

Garlic is the secret culprit, not eggplant. When her face broke out like that it was probably the first time she's ever had a piece of straight garlic in her mouth. But she has had bits of garlic consistently and we think it's the most likely source of her ongoing eczema. It is in tons of food like all spaghetti sauce, ketcup, barbeque sauce, chili powder, deli meat, hot dogs, almost anything with any source of spice (if it says "spice" or "natural flavoring" in the ingredients it could very well contain garlic). I didn't know whether to rejoice that I knew or cry. Ok, actually I did cry (um bawl) when I realized how much food has garlic in it (forget eating out). It seems I will have to be make absolutely every sauce or recipe component from scratch. I guess I'm glad to finally know. The saga continues, *sigh.

We are off to the beach with family on Tuesday. Will be sure to post some pictures when we get back.

Now excuse me while I go find some homemade spaghetti sauce recipes.

The last month in pictures

I know I have been kind of slack on the posting lately. The majority of my energy has gone into dealing with Anna's food allergies, skin, and the use of her leg plus trying to help Ben with research on future job opportunities. Since he's doing surgery right now and working in the burn unit, he works long hours and doesn't have much time for those extra things. Regarding Anna's  allergies, I have become a little discouraged and very exhausted! She dropped completely off the growth curve at her last appointment and the doctor was concerned. Usually I don't worry about that kind of thing, but feeding my family in a healthy way with the limited options we have has become so hard. Many times I wonder how on earth I will be able to manage another baby on top of these special needs. I really need to get this dairy-free, nut-free, egg-free, bean-free, berry-free, everything-free healthy cooking in more of a groove.

We took Anna to the Columbia Riverbanks Zoo for Father's Day. Both Ben and Anna got in free!

The giraffes were a little too close for Anna's comfort.

We had the opportunity to go see the Lion King in Greenville. It was wonderful.

Playing

One of those rare days where I resorted to a short video for my sanity. The Snowman is perfect for that.

Another new, scary reaction. Just. One. Bite. Eggplant, onion, olive oil, or garlic? Don't know.
This was soon after her back broke out in hives cause Ben was holding her after eating something with mayonnaise in it.

Before our 4th of July festivities. We had a Latin American feast with a friend from Costa Rica, complete with my favorite, fried yucca!

Anna couldn't eat this cake but the rest of us enjoyed it!

I've been thinking and anticipating what the gender of our little one will be. I should find out next month (or maybe earlier if I can convince Doc T to check for it at the next appointment). I feel like God has been speaking to me about naming so I have a bit of a hunch what the gender is but am still not completely sure.

First Leggy

This came in the mail as I was literally walking out the door to go to Atlanta for my doctor's appointment. I was soo excited. Even though we were already running late, I ripped open the box and shoved the entire contents into my overnight bag before leaving.

Here is Anna's first leggy!

I think it is so cute. The reason the foot is a different color is because they only make that size baby foot in one color. Obviously Anna's skin is much darker. We will have more feet to choose from when she grows a little.

Anna handled the new leg so well. She didn't mind it at all. She didn't cry. She just kind of looked at, pointed to it from time to time, and then tried to get around like usual. She has learned to be flexible and adjust well after her short leg, casts, bandages, etc. I am so incredibly proud of her! She likes to hug the leg and play with it, too. I have to keep her from chewing on it, though.

She definitely doesn't quite have the hang of using the leg yet. It's a little like watching a baby deer trying to stand up on their wobbly legs. She prefers to crawl because she can get around much quicker.

The difficult thing is that the leg keeps falling off. We tried using different combinations of prosthetic socks to make it a tighter fit, but then the leg doesn't slide far enough up her leg and it ends up being a good inch longer than her other leg. So getting the leg to stay on is a real challenge. Right now we are having trouble using it at all (once we realized the leg was too long with the double socks we didn't want her to develop bad gait habits so we are kind of at a stand still with it). The CP is sending us a sleeve that might help it stay on better. She said it's more work to keep clean since it's made of a gel that sticks to the skin and adds another layer to her already 3 layers of 'stuff', but I'm really hoping it helps the leg stay on. I think if we could just get it to stay on better, she would learn to use it quickly.

I would like to give a shout out to... me! Because I survived an entire month of being a single parent. Yes, a whole month. Ben spent the last month in south Georgia on a rural medicine rotation. I didn't mention it to many people for obvious safety reasons. It was a rough month. Combine first trimester pregnancy exhaustion and nausea with actually getting sick, then Anna getting sick, allergies, a trip to Shriners and an overnight trip to Atlanta and you have a very, very helpless, exhausted parent. I was literally at the end of my rope the last week. Thankfully, Ben is back and after 24 hours of help (like that crucial hour where he plays with Anna when he gets home plus a little help with the dishes) and I already feel 75% better. I have a lot of respect for single moms.

In other (bad) news, Anna appears to be developing more allergies. We now have to cross off more foods on the list thanks to some recent reactions: strawberries and BEANS and other legumes (the allergist said some kids who are allergic to peanuts also have problems with the entire legume family). None of those gave her a problem before, but they do now. I am really upset about it because we eat a lot of beans. We don't eat that much meat, and beans are our inexpensive protein that we use all the time. I don't know what I'm going to do now- cook meat every night? Buy expensive seafood for a protein? UGH!!!!!!! NOT HAPPY! That brings her list of no-nos to include: milk/dairy, eggs, peanuts, nuts, strawberries, peas, beans, lentils and according to the allergist, possibly citrus and tomatoes because they have the same bothersome chemical that the strawberries have. At this rate, we will be eating rice and meat for the rest of our lives. Before Debbie Downer signs off, I will end on a positive note.

Ben had an interview this week and he has another next week. He has an edge in both places because they need someone who is fluent in Spanish. We are hopeful that he will find the right job and we will know where we will be moving soon! It's a little tricky with timing, because most places who are actively looking for a PA want someone who can work soon, and Ben can't work until August or September when he completes his boards so he has to find someone who is willing to wait for him. But we are hopeful. We are really limiting our options only considering places that are part of the rural health federal program, but we feel it will be worth it in the long run.

14 months and first leggy fitting

First off, ya'll posted some really nice comments on my last post about VBACs. Thanks for all the support!


Anna is 14 months old! She is so cute these days. Babbling like crazy. She says "ball," "Daddy," and "all done" and her favorite word is "birdie" which she exclaims and points every time she hears a chirp outside. I love, love this stage. She continues to have such a wonderful attitude and is always happy! Ok, except when she is at a hospital or doctor's office. Then she is miserable.

Speaking of such, we had a trip to Shr*ners today. The ride there and back went great. She took both her naps in the van and handled the 6 hours of driving beautifully.

The appointment was not a big hit, however. As soon as she saw the CP she started screaming! I don't know if it was the scrubs or what, but she clung to me and would not let go for dear life. The CP tried leaving the room and giving her some time to calm down, but each time she came back in Anna would start screaming again. I've never seen her react so strongly before. The CP was so great, friendly, and wonderful so that wasn't it. I guess she's just been through so much and being there hit a chord. Maybe she was afraid the lady was going to try and take her other foot off! We at least got the first 'draft' of her leg on and had her stand up on it, if only for a second. I wish we had more time to evaluate the fit but she was so beside herself the CP thought it was best not to push it. She did say it was completely normal and that many kids freak out when getting a new leg cast or tried on because it's such an emotional thing. I really think it wasn't so much the leg, though, as it was the hospital setting and the uniformed people that bothered her. She handled the casting just fine last time. I really loved the CP and am glad we decided to stay with Shr*ners. The leg was so cute and I can't wait to get it in the mail! Her first leggy will arrive in less than two weeks! I am sooo excited! I know it will take slow steps to get her adjusted to it, but I am happy for this next stage in her life. When I saw her standing on two even legs for the first time ever, I got really emotional. It was a wonderful sight.

Here is some leggy inspiration from two dear friends' babies- cutie pie Dylan and sweet Anna (hope they don't mind me posting these :)

Anna's been having some more allergic reactions lately (like hives on the fingers at a restaurant even when I wiped down the entire tray and table. Apparently she touched some sort of residue. Urg!!) so I went ahead and organized a little purse for her medication. I was getting stressed out wondering where the pens were and didn't want anyone to have to dig through a bag to find one if she ever needed it. I also wanted everything together with the instructions so we could just grab it and go whenever we go out with her. This is what I came up with:

I like how I can hang it by the door to remember to take it with us. And when other people are watching Anna, they will have everything right there in a bright case.

On a random note, I scored big time in finding a woman who sold me some maternity clothes in my size. I knew I needed a few since my clothes were almost all sweaters and pants. Most of the stuff I got from her were dresses and a bit nicer than I would normally wear day to day, but I figure dresses are the most comfortable in the summer anyway. I fully plan on making good use of them. So if you see me dressed up this summer, you know why. I'm glad they are pretty modest necklines, too, which I always have a hard time finding. I attempted to wear something strapless for the first time in years to Ben's graduation. Not happening again anytime soon. I've gotten more sensitive to necklines since having a toddler on your hip all too often results in shifting clothes.  Here's one of the dresses and my first baby bump picture:

I realize I look huge for only being 10 weeks along. I blame it on the fact that I just finished a very large meal. I've always been that kid who had the potbelly after a big meal ;p

These clothes I got were an especially nice find since apparently Motherhood Maternity has decided that all pregnant women are rich.... and growing exponentially. Their size Small seemed so ginormous that when I compared it to one of their tops I had from years ago in a size Medium (which I found at a yard sale) this is what I found:

The WHITE shirt is the old Medium. The pink one is the current Small. Yes, their old Mediums are now smaller than their current Smalls. At this rate, all American pregnant women will be giants by 2050!