October 14, 2014

Currently



Doing my first every "Currently" post!





Feeding: Banana chips. I have a hard time finding snacks that don't make me feel yucky. Banana chips, at least the ones I eat, consist only of bananas, coconut oil, and a tiny bit of sugar. They are perfect for in between meals.


Reading: Just finished Red Rising. Loved it. Can't wait for the next book to come out! Right now I am reading How to Listen so Kids Will Talk and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen. Love, love, love it! Adding it to my top parenting books along with Simplicity Parenting and Love and Logic.


Needing: To slow down my mind. I usually rarely have trouble sleeping, but lately I've had several bouts of insomnia because I have all these things I want to do and think about. Not bothersome things, just things. And they keep me awake.


Conceding: That I need to appreciate the city I live in for what it is instead of moaning about what it isn't. There are no mountains or wonderful outdoor activities. It is pretty commercial and ridiculously hot. It isn't pedestrian friendly at all. But it has almost every resource/store you could ever need. It only takes 15 minutes to get from one side to the next. It has a great medical community. And it is only several hours from great vacation destinations: Charleston, Savannah, Atlanta, Greenville, Asheville, and Charlotte.


Gearing up for: a family wedding. I love weddings, especially family ones! I'm a bridesmaid, Ben is a groomsman, and Anna is a flower girl! Should be lots of fun and lots of celebrations!


Procrastinating: Cleaning. For a while I was so good about it, following my little schedule. Lately I have been seriously neglecting it. All the 'detail' cleaning that needs to be done is overwhelming and I have no desire or intent to tackle. So lately I've been doing the bare minimum.


Thankful for: My new part time job. I've never had a job that I truly love, feel good at, and feel satisfied with because I'm making a difference in the lives of others. For right now at least, this is my dream job. I get to set my own schedule, I don't have to answer to a boss for much of anything, I don't miss any time with the girls, and I get excited about each child I test and each report I write. It's mentally stimulating, always interesting, and a great responsibility.





October 6, 2014

Good








A few week ago Ben and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe it has been that long. It's hard to believe only six years ago we were saying, "I do." Anniversaries always give me a reason to pause and reflect on life, love, and God's work.




The season that Ben and I have entered recently has been one of joy. Our children are thriving, my mental health is the best it's ever been, our marriage is thriving, we have a wonderful living situation. We have finally found true community: a church we love, good friends, and two discipleship relationships that we've prayed for, for a long time. I've found my place in the church and have started a ministry that I'm passionate about. The girls attend a church school that is wonderful and affordable. Ben's job is not perfect, as no job is, but it's good and he has a supervisor who cares about him as a person. I've found a part-time job that allows me the opportunity to use my skills without sacrificing my children's care.




Things are in no way perfect, or always easy, but for the first time in our marriage (and honestly, in my life) things feel good. They feel healthy, and easier. They feel more natural. This feels much different from the adversity we have gone through in the past. Both in our marriage and in life in general. I honestly never knew that things could be this good. I have been so used to expecting the worst and thinking I didn't deserve much better; that it would never happen for me. And now that it has, it is easy to see God as loving, kind, good, and present.



But God is always good. Not that I haven't felt that way in the past, but it feels so easy at this time in our lives. When things go well, when we experience 'blessings' (that word is not always appropriate, for easy things are not the only form of blessing), we walk around saying that "God is good."  We know in our minds that God is good. That he can never be anything but good, however, if we are honest with ourselves, this doesn't always ring true in our lives. We don't always believe it in our hearts, and we don't always act as though it's true. It's hard to believe that God truly, truly cares about us when we are walking through the fire. It is hard to believe that God truly hasn't forgotten us, that he hasn't turned his back from our pain, that he is the epitome of lovingkindness. During this season of my life, I don't want to simply sit back and relish in the beauty of today, right now. I want to sink my roots in God's goodness no matter the season. No matter the circumstances.






When my father was killed.
He was good.




When I was depressed as a child.
He was good.




When my heart was broken by a man I loved.
He was good.




When Ben and I experienced deep brokenness overseas.
He was good.




When we struggled in our marriage.
He was good.




When we lost our first baby.
He was good.




When we almost lost Anna.
He was good.




When the nurse came back to tell us that our daughter's amputation was complete.
He was good.




When I wept over the effect of life-threatening allergies on my family's life.
He was good.




When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
He was good.




When I battle with the risk of losing my daughter to anaphylaxis.
He is good.




He wept with me. He cared. He loved. 
Just as much then as now.




Just. As. Much. Then. As. Now.




He was good. He is good. He will be good. For all of eternity. Today, tomorrow, and yesterday.


I know that I will again walk through difficulty, sorrow, and adversity. But I pray that my faith will not waver; that I will not experience God's goodness any less, any less tangible, than I do right now. That I will believe and act in my heart as though God is truly who he says he is. That I will know that my experience of reality does not affect the reality that God is who he says he is.




Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say,

 Blessed be the name of the Lord

- Matt Redman



Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1


September 5, 2014

Lessons Learned




Anna's first day of Pre K-3 was last week! Prior I had a discussion with her teacher about keeping her safe in terms of her allergies. I also briefly explained her leg and suggested I come in and do a quick lesson with the kids so that she didn't have to deal with nonstop questions.

The day I came in the teacher thanked me because she said lots of kids were already asking questions and a couple even tried to touch and pull at it (grrrr).


This is one instance where my school counseling experience paid off- I am used to giving classroom guidance lessons!  Here is how the lesson went for those of you who want to talk to your child's class, which I definitely recommend!


The key with young kids is to keep their attention by being short, concise, and keeping them involved (no lecturing). First, I played a little game. I had all the boys stand up, then all the girls stand up, then those with a sister, a brother, blond hair, brown hair (this was about all you can do with three year olds' attention span). If you are teaching older kids go into more depth like interests, height, etc. 
I talked about how everyone is different; some in ways we can see, and some in ways we can't see.

Then I read "It's OK to Be Different", a really cute, funny book.


After the book, I talked about how one way kids are different is that they have different arms and legs. I showed them some pictures from the book "Imagine: Amazing Me!" and asked what was different about the arms or legs of the kids in the book ("she's missing her arm!"). I pointed out how the kids were all doing what every other kid can do (ballet, soccer, climbing, etc.).


Then I brought up Anna and explained how she had a different leg; how when she was born she was missing part of her leg and so the doctors had to do a special surgery on her, and now she has a leg that allows her to do everything other kids can do. I asked them their favorite animals and their favorite characters and I told the kids how Anna can get anything she wants put on her leg! ("cool!").


Next, I brought out her past three legs and asked two 'helpers' (to involve the kids and keep their attention) up to help me hold them up. I explained how each time she grows she needs a new leg, and I asked the kids which was the smallest, largest, etc. Then we passed them around for each kid to see ("Let me see! I haven't seen it yet!")


After that we talked about how Anna's leg is a part of her body, and just like we don't touch other people's body parts, we don't touch Anna's without her permission ("hands to yourself"). I said that anytime they have a question they can ask Anna and she will answer; they don't have to ask anyone else but Anna.


Lastly, I brought out Anna's doll Sarah and showed them how her leg came off. We passed her around, and they thought that was pretty cool.


Finally, I had copied some coloring pages of kids with prostheses (both boys and girls) and I left them with the teachers so the kids could color them and talk more about being different. The teacher later had the kids make their own self-portrait.


Here are some of the resources I used for the lesson:












August 18, 2014

Celebrating and Reconnecting


This weekend I spent a wonderful day in Atlanta with dear friends- first connecting with someone I had not seen in a long time, then celebrating a new baby girl entering into the world!

I also connected with two friends on the phone during the travel time, even though I am not a phone-talker.

A pleasant reminder to me that friendships are so important, and as hard as it is to connect and re-connect, it's what we were made for.



“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”  
Helen Keller



 


August 12, 2014

Restoring Lost Years


I try not to re-post articles on my blog, but this one left me really touched and I thought it might encourage you as it encouraged me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GOD CAN RESTORE YOUR LOST YEARS

Money can be restored. Property can be restored—broken-down cars, stripped painting, old houses. Relationships can be restored. But one thing that can never be restored is time. Time flies and it does not return. Years pass and we never get them back.


Yet God promises the impossible: “I will restore the years that the locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25). The immediate meaning of this promise is clear. God’s people had suffered the complete destruction of their entire harvest through swarms of locusts that marched like an insect army through the fields, destroying the crops, multiplying their number as they went.


For four consecutive years, the harvest was completely wiped out. God’s people were brought to their knees in more ways than one. But “the Lord became jealous for his land and had pity on his people.” God said, “Behold I am sending to you grain, wine and oil, and you will be satisfied (Joel 2:18-19).


In the coming years, God said, their fields would yield an abundance that would make up for what had been lost: “The threshing floor shall be full of grain; the vats shall overflow with wine and oil. . . . You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied” (Joel 2:24, 26).


This wonderful promise for those people meant that years of abundant harvests would follow the years of desolation brought about by the locusts. 

But God has also put this promise in the Bible for us today. 


Lost Years of Our Lives



What do “lost years” look like for us? Lost years (or locust years) are years that you can’t get back, and they come in many varieties.

Lost years are fruitless years. A lot of hard work was done in the years the locusts had eaten. After everything was destroyed, the people must have thought, All this work and what do I have to show for it? Some of you know this pain in the world of business—a failed venture, a bad investment, a misguided policy, and all the effort that you put in day-by-day, month-by-month, year-by-year led only to massive disappointment. You think, What has come of all my time and all my effort? 

Lost years are painful years. I’m thinking of those who have lost a loved one. You had plans for the future, but now you fear the coming years may be empty. I’m thinking also of those who live with illness in the body or the mind. You assumed that you would always be able to do what you used to do. You have to find a way to live with the disappointment that you cannot.

Lost years are selfish years. Here’s a story that’s been repeated thousands of times. There’s a person (let’s call him Jim) who made a commitment to Christ, but it didn’t run deep. Faith in Jesus was a slice of the big pie of his busy life, filled with all the things that Jim wanted to pursue. Then one day, God gets hold of Jim. He is spiritually awakened. He says to himself, What in the world have I been doing? There’s no substance in my life. I really want it to count for Christ. I want to live in the power of the Spirit. I want to make a difference in the world, but the locusts have eaten half my life! I’ve wasted my years on myself.

Lost years are loveless years. A division comes to a family, alienating loved ones. Children grow up, and those years cannot be recovered. A marriage quietly endures in which love has been burning low for many years. You see a couple who are really in love, and you say, “I wish I could be loved like that.” Or you have not yet met the person you would like to meet. It feels like the years are moving on. You can never get them back. The locusts have eaten them.

Lost years are rebellious years. Perhaps you grew up with many blessings, but in your heart you wanted to rebel. You didn’t fully understand this urge, but you gave yourself to it. Instead of bringing you pleasure, rebellion brought you pain. Now you look back on those years with regret, the years that the locusts have eaten.

Lost years are misdirected years. The path you chose in your career or at college was a dead end. You just didn’t fit. Often in your mind, and sometimes in your conversation, you say, “How did I end up here? If only. . . . If only I had made that move. . . . If only I had taken that opportunity. . . . If only I had chosen a different path.” But the moment has passed. It’s gone. You can’t go back to it. You’re left with locust years.

Lost years are Christ-less years. All Christ-less years are locust years. This point is worth thinking about if you have not yet made a commitment to Christ. Ask anyone who came to faith in Christ later in life, and they will tell you that they wish they’d come to Christ sooner than they did: “How much foolishness I would have avoided. How much more good might have been done through my life.” 


How God Restores Lost Years



Take heart! There is hope, because God can restore your lost, locust years. He does so in three ways.


God can restore lost years by deepening your communion with Christ. “You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God” (Joel 2:27). These people, who have endured so much, enjoy a communion with the Lord that is far greater than anything they had ever known before in their religious lives. Christ can restore lost years by deepening your fellowship with him.
Why not ask him for this? Tell him, “Lord, I have spent too many years without you, too many years at a distance from you. Fill my heart with love and gratitude for Christ. Let the loss of these years make my love for Christ greater than it would ever have been. Restore to me the years the locusts have eaten. “


God can restore lost years by multiplying your fruitfulness. The harvests for these people had been wiped out for four years, but God restored the years that the locusts had eaten by giving bumper harvests. 

This provision makes me think about the parable where Jesus spoke about a harvest that could be 30-, 60-, or 100-fold. There’s a huge difference between these three harvests. Three years at 100-fold is as much fruit as a decade at 30-fold.

Why not ask him for this? “Lord, the locusts have eaten too many years of our lives. You have called us as your disciples to bear fruit that will last. Too many fruitless years have passed. Now Lord, we ask of you, give us some years now in which more lasting fruit will be born than in all of our years of small harvests.”


God can restore lost years by bringing long-term gain from short-term loss. The effect of these great trials in your life will be that “the tested genuineness of your faith . . . may result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7). The praise, glory, and honor go to Christ because his power guarded you and kept you through the hardest years of your life.
Thinking about “years that the locust has eaten,” years that have been taken, I think of something Isaiah said about our Lord Jesus: “He was cut off out of the land of the living” (Isaiah 53:8).
Here was the Lord Jesus in the prime of life. He was three years into his ministry at 33 years old. You would think that a man launching a new enterprise at the age of 33 has everything in front of him. But Isaiah says, “He was cut off.” He was cut off because he came under the judgment of God, not for his own sins—because he had none—but for ours.

Our sins, our grief, our sorrows, were laid on him. Our judgment fell on him. Our locusts swarmed all over him. The life of God’s tender shoot was “cut off.” Then, on the third day, the Son of God rose in the power of an eternal life. He offers himself to you, and he says what no one else can ever say: “I will restore the years that the locusts have eaten.”



Source: Colin Smith, The Gospel Coalition