May 15, 2009

Adventures at the hospital



A few weeks ago at the Well, I felt led to talk to this couple who work at YWAM Atlanta. They both have incredible evangelistic hearts and spend their time reaching out to people in downtown Atlanta and at Georgia Tech. After just a few moments with them, I knew they had a part of Jesus's heart that I needed in my life right now. On the way home that night, I had a picture of myself praying for a woman with a braced up foot at the mall. I thought this was funny since I hate the mall and hardly ever go there. Turns out, I ended up at the mall a week later to pick up my contacts. There were very few people there and I was done with my errand quickly. With a short, half-hearted breath prayer on my way out I said , "well God if you want me to pray for a broken foot you better show me because I'm on my way out!". The next second, a woman rolled by me on a wheelchair with her foot in a brace. Go figure. I stood there for like 5 minutes, struggling with my own fear. I couldn't believe how strong that fear was, and realized I had let it build in me by not stepping out more regularly in the last 2 years since my Wesley internship. I ended up praying for the woman, who has diabetes, but was incredibly disturbed by the stronghold of fear in my life.

A couple we recently met, Shaun and Naomi, came to Athens Wednesday night to hang out and do some ministry. I thought this would be great since I really want God to shake this fear. Earlier in the day, Ben felt God's leading that we should minister to people in one of the two hospitals in Athens. I had never been to this hospital and Shaun and Naomi had never even been to Athens, but we all prayed beforehand and agreed it was the right place. I felt like God gave me a specific name of an employee that works there- first and last name, and his race. Naomi and Shaun saw a picture of someone in a wheelchair with a red balloon, and a big heart. So off we went to the hospital to see if God wanted to touch anyone. As soon as we got in, we realized there was almost NO ONE there. It was so quiet. My friend Kim asked an employee if this man worked there (the name that I felt God was saying to me). The lady confirmed that he did and described what he looked like, cornrows and all! They tried paging him to meet us. We waited for him and I couldn't wait to see what God wanted to say to him, but he never came. He either wasn't working that night or was tied up. Maybe God just wanted to encourage me that I DID hear his voice clearly. Maybe he wants us to go back. Either way, please pray for this guy.

On our way out, we just happened to see a woman being wheeled out the door with a red balloon attached to her wheelchair! Naomi and I went up to her and talked to her briefly. Her name was Martha and turns out she just found out she had an enlarged heart. It all fit with what God had spoken earlier- a red balloon, a wheelchair, and a large heart. Because of his word, we really believe God wants to heal Martha. Please pray that her heart would go back to its proper size and that Jesus would be glorified.

A great thing about the night was talking with Shaun and Naomi afterwards. It was one of the most encouraging conversations we had had in a while. They are both walking in the things we feel like God is leading us towards. It was so encouraging to hear about their path of faith and trust in God. Whether they realized it or not, they spoke words of life, words that gave me life. It connected right with our hearts. We really needed that encouragement.

I'm still disturbed when I examine the fear in my own heart, the desire for approval and the fear of rejection. It is crazy how we can hear God's call yet still experience so much fear in our obedience. But God has been teaching me that HIS approval is the only thing truly matters, and it makes the rest so much easier to let go of. Just the other day in church He said to me over and over "you are not a fool, you are not a fool, you are not a fool" until I almost broke down weeping right there. It is true that many people, both non-Christian and Christian, can view us as fools (heck I used to be one of them), but thankfully God says the foolishness of Him is wiser than man's wisdom, the weakness of God is wiser than man's strength...

I need so much grace but Jesus has a neverending supply... Please pray for these people mentioned above! And please pray that I would hear his voice clearly as I go to India. I desperately need to hear him clearly. Thank you!

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