Nine Months (and some obstacles)

Our little Anna Bean is 9 months old! As you can see, she is getting around quite well. Pulling up, climbing on top and over boxes, and "cruising". We are very proud of her tenacity!

She's doing great on the sleeping front- is now offiically taking two naps and sleeping 8-10 hours at night, waking up early morning for a feeding, and consistently arising for the day at 7:30.

This month has had its difficult moments. We've been battling atopic dermatitis/eczema stuff on her little skin which has caused her to be terribly uncomfortable and itchy, and we had some scary run-ins with the allergy monster. This is what took place after eating less than one ounce of yogurt:

Not cool. Her face is still lingering red and she woke up numerous times crying last night. Then we had a major breakout of hives after eating some green peas. Needless to say, both dairy and peas are crossed off our food list for now. We are also avoiding other legumes because she might react to them as well (garbanzo beans, other beans, lentils, etc). And because allergic reactions can get worse after each exposure, our doc gave us a referral to an allergist, plus an Epi-Pen Junior script. Ugh. I'm not gonna lie, it's been quite frustrating and tiresome dealing with it all. It feels like we are on a constant elimination diet- right now there are something like 7 foods I'm not sure if she is reacting to, and another 8 foods that we are actively avoiding. You'd think it would be easy to pinpoint food issues but it is VERY DIFFICULT because the reaction can vary, the foods can vary, and the timing is inconsistent. I'm constantly trying to figure out what's causing her problems, what she's eaten, what's changed, etc.

Sometimes I think about her surgery date coming up in 2 months, and I want to scream "WHY?" Why does Anna have to go through this in addition to her leg? Why can't it just be easy for her like other babies? Why can't she eat whatever she wants? Why, Why, Why? Am I complaining too much? Feel free to cyber kick me if so. Despite my ranting, most of the time I really am positive and thankful. I try to stay focused on the amazing qualities Anna was blessed with. And the fact that she is here and alive and a miracle! She is truly a special girl.

Ben and I do not believe these reactions are from God. He is not the author of sickness and disease. We are committing ourselves to prayer for our baby girl and everything she's dealing with. Any and all prayer from others is much solicited and much appreciated, as is any reassuring advice (like "don't worry that happened to my baby and now she eats whatever she wants!" :) Anna and her Mommy thank you in advance!

Christmas in Florida

Merry Christmas

And here's Anna at the Shriners Christmas party with Santa. She didn't even cry.

 

(Some out-takes from our Christmas photo shoot)

(I think it's hilarious how she looks like she's posing in this one)

Messy

Lately I have been hit hard with the reality of my own brokenness.

The realization that I still have much in my broken past that haunts me

and occupies unwanted space in my soul.

The reality that I have some character traits now, as an adult,
that are not as they should be.

I guess that's what happens when you become a parent.
When you are staring face to face with the possibility that this precious life entrusted to you just might turn out...

a lot like you.

And how scary that is.

Is that what I want?

Please, no.

Change me.

I want to be the version of myself my Father saw when he knit me together.

Where is that person?

I look in the mirror and see a mess. It's all there staring back at me:

Fear. Insecurity. Selfishness. Envy. Ingratitude. Judgement. Intolerance. Bitterness.

Each one picked up along this broken path of life.
Broken responses to broken situations.

He looks in the mirror and sees beauty.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.¹

Everything. Beautiful.

Give me your eyes God. Your strength.

Hope.

These few days alone a lot of pent-up emotions came flooding out.
Tears that hadn't been cried.

That I didn't even know were waiting to be let out of their temporary homes in my soul.

A mess.

I pull up my knees and lay my head on them. When I close my eyes, I feel my heavenly Father's arms wrap around me and hold me on his lap.

My Father's lap.

A place I never knew in the physical. A place my heart still longs for.

And my God will supply all your needs.²

All my needs. Every one.

Thank you for loving this beautiful mess. Without you I am dust, the walking dead.

You are my life, my soul, my everything.

1- Ecclesiastes 3:11

2- Phillippians 4:19

japan girl bridal party

I've never been into Google Analytics in the past, but based on the humorous entries from friend Erika, I thought I would give it a try. It's a device that tells you how people came to your blog, particularly when through search engines.

Apparently the other day someone from British Columbia happened upon a particular post...

...when they searched for "japan girl bridal party."

Yes that's right. And this is what they found:

Sadly I don't think they found what they were looking for. Especially since Stephanie isn't even Japanese. She's Chinese. So are Jenny and Melinda, and Diana is Taiwanese. Nope, not a Japanese in the bunch.

Apparently Google is not very accurate in their image labeling.