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November 2, 2012
Less is more
I wanted to write a little bit about our home-buying journey and what I've learned through it all.
The initial thought of buying a home made me want to, well, run in the opposite direction, frankly. I know many people dream of owning their own home some day, and while I've always wanted the extra space and community that comes along with owning a home, there were a lot of things I didn't want. The responsibility of owning a home. The debt of owning a home. The extra costs associated with owning a home. The extra work. And perhaps most of all, the inability to pick up and move whenever and wherever we want. Homes tie people down, and I was very hesitant to jump on that bandwagon. I'd seen many people get stuck with homes that had to be rented out, and in those moments had been thankful we bit the bullet and stuck with renting for so long, even if it was hard. I didn't want to buy a home until we were completely ready and were going stay in it long-term.
Once Ben accepted his job, we initially wanted to rent. We were going to upgrade to renting a house instead of an apartment. It seemed like the logical next step. But we kept running into roadblocks when it came to renting. Everyone kept saying how great a time it was to buy a home, but the thought of buying a home freaked me out. What if Ben didn't like his job? What if we didn't like the neighborhood we moved to? What if our schools got rezoned? What if we want to move to a nicer, more mild climate? (the weather here can be atrocious- HOT summers, cold winters, and very little in between). All these fears kept gnawing at me.
As Ben and I prayed about it, I was sure God would not lead us to buy a home. I was convinced it wasn't the responsible thing to do. But God really is a funny person, and knows what our idols are. He also knows what's best for us. God usually speaks to me really clearly about things like this, because otherwise I wouldn't follow through. He spoke to me clearly on this one. And the message was this: move forward. Buy a home. Don't go crazy, don't be greedy, but buy a simple home you can afford that will be a blessing to your family. I'll be with you. It will be OK.
Gulp.
So we started looking for a home. We kept running into two main options: buy a (what we considered) larger home that was a little pricier but needed more cosmetic work, or go with a small home that was nice, clean, and more ready to move in. At first I struggled with wanting a bigger home (by bigger I mean 2000+ sq feet). Don't we need a bonus room for the kids stuff? Don't we need a basement or other area for storage or workspace? A big kitchen? What if I decide to start couponing- don't I need a place to store that food? (then I realized I would never become a couponer with a stockpile of food- there are many reasons why it's not for me!) Don't we need 2.5 bathrooms? What if we end up with a larger family? All those questions ran through my mind. But in the end, I realized that less is more. We decided to go with a small, simple, but nice, home. When I say "small" it's relative. What would be considered small in our area for a family of 4-5 would be huge to many others (I think of our friends in Guatemala who's whole family lived in one room, for example). Our new house has a small kitchen, small living room, no basement, no upstairs. Our kids would share a room (which I actually wanted, anyway). I kept thinking that maybe this was a mistake, that we would regret getting a smaller home. But the more I thought about it, it felt right. It wasn't a perfect home, but it was perfect for us. For many reasons.
See, we knew that if we bought a larger home, it would be incredibly easy to fall into the trap of buying more. Fixing up the home. Buying furniture to fit into the home. Buying this and that for each new space. But as it was with the home we chose, the things we already had were more than enough. We only needed to buy a couple of items. There wouldn't be this drive to constantly accumulate more or go shopping for the house. There simply wouldn't be room. I was also drawn to smaller homes because of the way they foster family time. I grew up in a larger, three-floor home (main floor, upstairs, basement). We were always so spread out. I liked the idea of having one floor only, with all the rooms and people easily accessible. Good for accountability and for family time. Cozy, one of my favorite words!
So what this post is really about is the joy of less is more which I've experienced, more than ever, over the last few months. As we've moved in, I've had the opportunity to finally get rid of things we've accumulated. My philosophy is if it doesn't fit in the house and won't currently be used, we need to get rid of it. I've given stuff away and sold a lot of things on Craigslist (which has been great to save up for the things we do need). Instead of two sets of dishes - a nice set and a casual set, now we only have one. No bunches of extra sheets, picture frames, decorations, clothes, etc. If it's not being used, it's finding a NEW home. I LOVE it. There will be nothing in our attic except things we KNOW we need in the future and are waiting to use or seasonal stuff like Christmas ornaments. It's so nice to not have stuff stored and not in use. To appreciate and use what you DO have. To get rid of something if you are going to be bringing something new in. Ben always jokes about how quick I am to get rid of things. But it's so liberating! As we go through life in our new home, I hope to teach our kids the joy of less.
A great, inspiring mini-article popped up in my inbox this week, called "Less is more". It pieced together exactly what I've been learning the last few months and served as confirmation in my heart. Don't you love when that happens? Check it out here.
I'll share some of the things we did inside the house when I get the time (it wasn't much but made a big difference). We are enjoying having our own space, and Anna is thriving in a healthier environment where she has more freedom to explore outside. We are extra appreciative of this blessing after 10 years (16 for Ben) of apartment living!
This is exactly how we have felt during this whole home buying process. The house we ended up buying was one of the smaller ones we looked at, but it's perfect for our needs. We look at the other houses that didn't work out for us and we know God was making sure that didn't work out for a reason and now that we have found the perfect house, we are seeing how those other houses weren't perfect for us like this one is. Good thing God knows better than us. And I can't wait to get rid of unneeded stuff...it's the one thing I like about moving. :)
ReplyDeleteWe are moving to jacksonville and will be looking to buy. We have def. adopted the less is more philosophy. We've always lived in a relatively small space and have moved so much...and I hate clutter. Staring this home search will be interesting. I think for us it will be smaller home, more central to the city with all the charm, culture, old oak trees and conveniences that brings or a bigger home more in the suburbs. I kinda dream about being able to bike or stroll to the closest park, bakery, library...so I'm leaning towards the smaller house in the city. But I'm not sure that's realic for our budget. Either way I'll be happy to not be moving for awhile!
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