Leg #5

Anna's previous leg lasted almost 2 years and she received a new one this past month. Her new leg has a more flexible foot with a metal insert. I don't know any of the fancy terms, but she seems to like it :) Instead of being overwhelmed with fabric choices for her leg, I went to the fabric store and brought back 5 patterns I thought she might like. She chose this one because it was pink and "sparkly".  Here are some pictures and a video of her trying out her new leg.

Moving and Shaking

Look at her go! I'm so proud of her! I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and realizing (and admitting) that I too often project my emotions on to my daughter. Experiences I went through as a child- hurtful words, sad feelings, they are all a part of me, and I re-experience them when I see Anna in a situation that triggers those emotions. But Anna is not me. She reacts to things differently than I did, she will remember different things than I did, and she will likely bounce back from things more easily than I did (that is, if we are parenting as we hope to). Any parent knows that seeing your child be rejected, disappointed, or fail is heart-wrenching. For me, I've let it upset me TOO much. Worried about it TOO much. Because I bring my own baggage. I'm working to admit that many times, I'm the one who is most upset about something, not her. I worry more about what others will think, not her. I worry that her feelings are hurt and she will be scarred forever, whereas she is over it and moving on to the next thing. For a parent with a child with a disability, these tendencies seem to be further magnified. It's important to realize that our children are not us. Let's allow them a fresh start, a clean slate. Let's acknowledge our own feelings when they come up, put them in their place, and then be the encourager and supporter that our children need us to be.

Running

So far, Anna has been able to do most everything other kids her age can do. But as she's getting older, I've noticed that children are starting to surpass her in certain ways. The other day, at a friend's house, the kids were all playing tag. The ground was sloped, which made it especially hard for Anna to run on because her foot doesn't bend which makes her unsteady climbing up a slope. I saw her chasing and chasing but she just couldn't keep up with her faster counterparts. I saw her get tired more quickly. Even though she had a smile on her face, my heart broke. I wanted to help her, to make her go faster like the other kids. I wanted to encourage her. I just wanted to 'fix' it. I decided not to say anything after, except that it looked like she had fun playing tag.


She said, "I was the only one who didn't get to run away from anyone! I had to catch everyone."


I paused and thought about what I should say, or not say. I told her that sometimes things like running fast are a little bit harder for her than the other kids because of her leg, but that she did a great job. I wasn't sure if I should have just listened to her and not brought up her leg... I struggle with knowing whether I'm focusing on it too much or whether it's a good thing to acknowledge her difference and help her frame it in a positive way. These are the questions I ask myself and will continue to ask myself as she grows and has more questions and situations arise.


She is starting to notice some of her limitations and that certain things are going to be a little bit different for her. When I think back to my own childhood, so many vivid memories arise of times when I struggled, and my sensitive nature made these times especially difficult. Ben says it's important not to project your past experiences on to your children, and he's right. But it's hard. I wish she could run like everyone else. Most of the time I feel proud and thankful for Anna's differences, but there are those moments when I wish she didn't have to struggle. This is a seemingly small incident, but it reflects the future in that I know there will be many more bigger hurdles to come. And she can overcome them. I just have to learn the best way to support and encourage her. It will take courage, support, and guidance. I pray that God will equip me with the wisdom and strength to guide my daughter- to know when to be there for her; when to talk and when to listen.

Disney

I know I haven't posted in a while and I'm going to try and get better about that. As cliche as it sounds, things have been so busy and I'm working much more than I was last year. I love it, but it makes it hard to find time for other things. 

Several weeks ago, we went to visit my parents in Florida and they took us to a Disney resort for three days. We spent one day at Magic Kingdom and the rest hanging out at the pool and other fun things to do. The girls had such a great time. The princesses were of course the biggest hit of the day! We of course brought all of our princess dresses and dolls and stuffed them in a bag in preparation to meet them. And as expected, Disney was the BEST place for food allergies. If you have a child with allergies, you can take them to Disney and actually eat at the restaurants.

In flight

Showing off her Magic Band!

Fun at the Wilderness Lodge. Swimming in January, who would've thought?

Bus to Magic Kingdom

Dreams come true

But Mom, how are we going to see where she lives without going underwater? (four year old brain's wheel turning)