May 12, 2015

Evolution of the princess


You know how they say that everyone is a parenting expert until they have kids? Well, I always used to say that my kids would not become princess fanatics nor would they ever have Barbie dolls. Well, as you can see below, both of those things have failed to happen:


I'm not sure how this collection happened. It started with two Christmas gifts from a relative- their first 'Barbies' (though at least these aren't Shop n Drop ones or anything), another for birthday, and so on and so forth, until somehow we collected almost every princess out there. And you know what? Anna LOVES them. When she was littler, I tried to steer her away from princess stuff. We didn't buy any, we didn't watch any movies or TV about princesses, so I thought she would be immune. But every time we went somewhere with a princess picture, she was immediately drawn to it. Despite my own desires, she became a lover of princesses. I tried to fight it for a while, but I realized that I can't dictate what my children find joy in and what speaks to them. So, I decided that I just had to go with it. So somehow we ended up with princess dolls and dresses. We've watched Cinderella, Tangled (our favorite), Frozen, Sleeping Beauty (one of my favorite classics), The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin. That doesn't mean we will be buying any true 'Barbies' in the future other than these classic princesses (I have to draw the line somewhere, right?).

Though I knew it wasn't possible to change the draw to the princess, and it wouldn't be right to 'deprive' (ha sounds so dumb) her of that aspect of play, I decided that what I could do was help her develop a healthy view of herself and build character; this can be done through almost anything, including princesses, I decided. I take every opportunity I can to point out the character qualities of the princesses- their hearts, when they are hard-working, serving, loving, strong, brave, and show perseverance, forgiveness, and self-sacrifice. There are some fine qualities about some of those girls. To me, Cinderella shows the epitome of sacrificial love and humility, rising above pain and maintaining a soft heart. Rapunzel is one of the sweetest, most loving, courageous heroines (I have a secret crush on her), and Aurora's gentle and grateful spirit, even while living as a peasant girl, drew others to her. It's harder for me to find the admirable qualities in, say, Jasmine, but I try, or at least focus more on the other princesses, ha.

When Anna talks about how 'beautiful' they are, I ask her what truly makes someone beautiful (their heart, their kindness, how they treat people, etc.) We talk about this a lot. Loving others, treating them with respect, finding ways to help people in need, showing affection, and recognizing when something can be done for someone else as a gesture of kindness. We talk about how the outward appearance is one thing, but God looks at the heart, and no matter how beautiful one is on the outside, it can never make up for an 'ugly' inside. We talk about loving people who are mean and unkind, because they are usually the ones who are hurting most and in need of love and acceptance.

I hope that my daughters can balance their love for beauty, princesses, and sparkly things with the way that God adorns our heart when we follow and obey him. I hope that somehow I can use the paths they tend toward, be it princesses or ninjas (somehow I doubt that will ever be the case), to see themselves in light of Christ, to see the beauty and image of God that is evident in all people.

I can't dictate what my kids love or who they are, but I can steer them in the right direction, guide their hearts, and build their character. That's my job as a mother, and I take it more seriously than any other responsibility I've ever had.


1 comment:

Erika said...

This is such a great perspective!! I am still convinced I can shield Millie from all things princessy...but if that fails, thanks for giving me another way to look at it. :) (Also, Jasmine's redeeming characteristic is that she has a pet tiger, WHICH IS AWESOME.)